Winter In July
by lokogato
Summary: Xel/Fi. Xellos and Filia have a little talk ... songfic


Winter In July  
  
1 Look around, wonder why  
  
1.1 We can live a life that's never satisfied.  
  
It was a cloudless night. Filia Ul Copt stepped lightly outside of her small pottery and weaponry shop, taking care not to let the door creak, and skipping the third wooden stair down, knowing that it was rotting and liable to collapse with a crash under the weight of a full-grown Ryuuzoku. 'A lovely night.'  
  
1.1.1 Lonely hearts, troubled minds  
  
Looking for a way that we can never find.  
  
He had not come around recently. Usually he was always in the shop, in the house above it, or hanging around wherever she was, just to annoy her. He played with Val, and sometimes took care of him, she had to admit, but other that that he was a complete and utter nuisance, with his disarming grin that hid a dangerous and powerful creature. And utterly evil, she reminded herself. 'What does he come around for?'  
  
Many roads are ahead of us  
  
With choices to be made  
  
And that ever-annoying "Sora wa himitsu desu"! Even he knew to teleport out of her range immediately once he had said it, as she would probably whip out her mace and strike without a second thought. Despite this thought, Filia had to admit to herself that she almost, almost, enjoyed his company. Her was the only one left alive from the Darkstar campaign. Lina, Amelia, Gourry, and Zelgadis had all died at ripe old ages, Zel dying only a year after he finally found a cure. 'Why'd he leave? Did I hurt his feelings when I yelled? Does that purple fruitcake even have feelings to hurt?'  
  
But life's just one of the games we play.  
  
'Why does she hate me so?' Xellos Mettalium opened his eyes in the privacy of his chambers on Wolfpack Island, looking in the mirror through cat-like violet eyes. Mazoku eyes. 'I'm not unattractive. I try my best to keep my aura undetectable when she's around, since that seems to anger her somehow. How can she hate me for the Golden Dragon massacre, now that she knows about how the Golden Dragons killed off Val's race? Was she even alive when I did what I did?' He cursed his thoughts and whipped a dagger out from seemingly nowhere, throwing it at the mirror on the wall and shattering it into a million little pieces.  
  
1.1.2 Make the best of what's given you  
  
1.1.3 everything will come in time  
  
2 'Why do I even feel this way? I know Mazoku are capable of feeling, but most choose to bury them. I am no different. How can that little Ryuuzoku bring out all the strongest feelings in me- anger, hatred, sometimes. But this … this is new. Mazoku choose not to love. Love is a positive emotion, therefore it can hurt. But I feel no pain. Not physically, anyway.' He flopped on the virtually useless bed. He did not need sleep, so usually did not use it for sleeping. As for the other use for a bed … he considered that a waste of time.  
  
3  
  
4 Why deny yourself  
  
'How long has it been since I last really talked to anyone?' She strolled down the path to the forest. 'When Xellos comes around, I'm always to busy trying to kill him, annoy him, or trying to make sure he doesn't make off with Val.' She promised herself she would at least attempt to be pleasant next time he came. If he came at all. 'How many millenniums are left of my life? It seems everything is just passing by. I think I have maybe sixteen? Eighteen, max. How many does Xellos have? Could I … perhaps … spend my remaining ones with Xellos? I couldn't consider my life completely wasted then. Funny, isn't it, how things turn out. Only a few centuries ago, I would have sent the person who even hinted at that into kingdom come with mace-sama. And now, here I am, thinking it myself. But … I tell the truth …'  
  
'When was the last time I had a decent conversation?' Xellos wondered briefly before dismissing the question with the answer. 'At least a few centuries. I would love to talk to Filia- she's an intelligent Ryuuzoku, when she's not angry- but I'm too busy dodging maces, laserbreath, and any random weapon handy, now that she owns a weaponry store.' He looked at his hands. 'I've done so much … seen so much … how many millenniums do I have left before I have to leave this earth, as well? Fourteen? Fifteen? And Filia? About the same, perhaps longer. I wonder, though. Could I spend the last few with her? Then … maybe I could consider my life somewhat well spent.' Xellos concentrated for a moment, and then reached out across the ocean to her mind. Surprisingly, the barrier she always threw up around her mind was down.  
  
Don't just let life pass you by.  
  
Like winter in July.  
  
The ground suddenly began to reel, and Filia felt a strange light- headedness coming over her. 'Oh no …' they came so often now … so helpless … she hit the ground, but she was not aware of any pain. Her mind was already miles away, centuries ago.  
  
4.1.1 Future dreams can never last  
  
When you find yourself still living in the past  
  
"Lina-san, can't you just eat a little less?" Filia stared at … herself. With a large sweatdrop forming on her head, watching Lina, Gourry and Amelia's daily eating show. "My allowance isn't quite large enough to accommodate all of your eating expenses!"  
  
"EAT LESS?" The prospect shocked Lina, Gourry, and Amelia into the ultimate stupor; they even stopped eating. "No WAY!" Lina exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah!" Gourry agreed wholeheartedly, nodding his head and stealing a sausage from Lina's plate as he did so.  
  
"We need it to fight for justice and peace!" Amelia declared, causing Xellos' face to twitch slightly and go a pale shade of green.  
  
Lina stole six sausages and a steak from Gourry's plate in return for the one sausage he stole, and the eating and fighting resumed.  
  
"Ohh." Filia groaned. "Why did I offer to go along again?"  
  
"You wanted to find out whether the story about the Golden Ryuuzoku killing the Ancients was true." Xellos said cheerfully, fully restored to his previous fruitcake expression. Filia whipped out her mace and clobbered him a good whack on the head. He flew through the roof and somewhere out into the solar system.  
  
Zelgadis watched him fly up. "That was a good shot, Filia-san."  
  
"Thank you, Zelgadis-san. I can't stand it when he starts to poke fun at the Ryuuzoku …"  
  
'Oh no …' The other Filia, the one watching, saw the scene phase out into blackness. 'Again …'  
  
4.1.2 Keep moving on to higher ground  
  
Xellos furrowed his brow at the strangeness in her mind. 'What's going on?'  
  
Five year-old Filia stared at the pink bow in her mother's hand. "Wow, Kou- san. It's pretty!"  
  
Ariel tried to smile at her daughter, her heart heavy with the knowledge of what the Ryuuzoku were about to do.  
  
"I know, Fi-chan." She finished tying it to her daughter's tail, careful not to tear the delicate thing with her claws. Freshly sharpened claws.  
  
"Ariel-chan." Filia's father and sister stood framed in the doorway. "It's time to go."  
  
Filia looked up to see her father. "Tou-san! Nee-san! Look what Kou-san gave me!" She ran up to her father and showed him the new bow on her tail. "Isn't it pretty?"  
  
"It's lovely, Filia-chan." He lifted her up and swung her around, causing her to squeal with delight. Maliana, her older sister, ruffled her hair without speaking. "Now Kou-san and Nee-san and I have to leave for a while. Will you be a good little Ryuuzoku and do your studies for me? And when we come back, we can have a big party to celebrate you upcoming birthday!"  
  
"Okay Tou-san!" Filia looked earnestly at her father. "I'll be a good Ryuuzoku!" Her mother just smiled and hugged her.  
  
"Love you, Fi-chan." She whispered. The couple and daughter left. The instant they closed the door, Filia clambered to the window and slid outside. Hiding herself behind a large pentagram of pillars by the front door, she waited for them to come out. She had sensed something wasn't quite right when they had said goodbye. At this moment, Saichuro, the Elder, and her parents and sister exited the door.  
  
"Elder, is this really necessary?" Ariel asked. Malianna just walked along in silence.  
  
"Yes." The man said solemnly.  
  
"But against one with the Beastmaster's powers! We know she can kill us all with a snap of her fingers! Will an only slightly lower ranking Mazoku be any less difficult?"  
  
"Do not question me!" Thundered Saichuro. "There is no other choice available to us!"  
  
Her parents looked as if they would argue more, but then gave a resigned sigh and turned away from the Elder.  
  
"Oh Fi-chan." He mother whispered. Her father put an arm around her gently, and her sister took her mother's claw.  
  
4.1.3 Looking for the way you  
  
4.1.4 Thought could not be found  
  
Xellos was shocked. Filia had been alive back then? And lost her family, most likely! He understood the hatred now, and the dislike of the nickname Fi-chan, and of course the pink bow, but … why was this flashback happening?  
  
Filia flapped her wings tiredly. 'Why do they have to fly so fast?' She'd been following the army of Ryuuzoku for a while, and had nearly lost sight of them. Suddenly, from up ahead, she saw a series of explosions, right across the line. From her vantage point, the other Filia knew the younger could not see Xellos. And Xellos had not seen her.  
  
"What's going on?" Filia said, genuinely frightened. "Kou-san? Tou-san? Nee- san?" What if her mother, father and sister were among the exploded? She pushed her wings even more, but they could not hold out for long. She had to land and proceed on foot. Her bumpy landing did nothing to comfort the pain in her wings. The other Filia knew that Xellos had teleported away by now.  
  
Running towards the charred Ryuuzoku remains, she found Ariel, Malianna and Jenu. Unlike some of the other Ryuuzoku, they were nearly perfectly normal. The explosions of black magic had easily killed them off, however, by merely being too near them. They had all died together.  
  
"Kou-san!" She screamed, frantically trying to wake the prostrate figure on the ground. "Tou-san!"  
  
4.1.5 We may not know the reason why  
  
We're born into this world  
  
Saichuro appeared out of nowhere and looked almost fondly at the little priestess-in-training slumped between the carcasses of her family. He took a purposeful step towards her. Filia jumped slightly and looked up. When she saw that it was Saichuro, her tears started up again.  
  
"Elder, why won't they wake up?" She asked tearfully. "I can't wake Kou-san and Tou-san and Nee-san!"  
  
"They're dead, Filia-chan." He said quietly. Saichuro did not believe in pretending to small children. They would all have to grow up eventually.  
  
"No." She shook her head, disbelieving. "No."  
  
Saichuro took another step towards her, but she backed away, breathing loudly and harshly.  
  
"No." She kept backing away. "No." She tripped over her father's body, and kept crawling backwards. She looked at her mother's body.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Where a man only lives to die  
  
His story left untold  
  
4.1.5.1 Xellos jumped as the scream reverberated through his entire being. "Filia!" He whispered. He had to get to her. He phased out of the room.  
  
Filia woke suddenly, her head aching where she had hit the ground. "Kou- san?" She whispered. "Tou-san?" No one answered. She heard the mournful hoot of an owl. A tear crept out of the corner of her eye. "Dead." She sat up. "All dead." Her voice sounded flat, emotionless. She wiped the tear away fiercely. "My kou-san. Tou-san. Malianna, my Nee-san. The rest gone now. I am the last." She leaned against a tree. A twig near her cracked, but she didn't look to see what it was. A cloaked figure appeared before her.  
  
Make the best of what's given you  
  
Everything will come in time  
  
"Filia-san."  
  
She blinked in surprise, but recovered her composure quickly. "Namagami. What do you want?" 'My mind barrier wasn't up. Did he see?'  
  
"When did you make it a habit of traipsing around the woodlands in the middle of the night?"  
  
"When did you make it a habit of traipsing around the woodlands in the middle of the night, yourself. When did you make it a habit of visiting these woods anyway?"  
  
His expression became serious, and he actually opened his eyes, revealing amethyst slits of pupils. "Your mind barrier was down." Her own crystal blue eyes narrowed.  
  
"You saw, didn't you?" He nodded, and sat down next to her. "But why are you here?"  
  
Slightly surprised she didn't whip out her mace and throw it at him for daring to come within ten meters of her, he pondered how to answer. He settled for his trademark answer. "Sora wa-" he changed his mind mid-sora wa himitsu desu. "I'm sorry."  
  
"What?" She sounded shocked.  
  
"I'm sorry." He had been a young, careless Mazoku then. He slipped into his own memories of the day. Filia, without realizing it, tapped into his thoughts.  
  
/Xellos the Golden Ryuuzoku have become a serious nuisance. Destroy a couple thousand of them and then report immediately. That's an order./  
  
/Yes, Lord Beastmaster./  
  
A whole contingent of Ryuuzoku flew at him. Using a strong type of black magic that was known to have a profound effect on holy magic users, he sent an invisible stream of pure energy from his finger. The entire row blew up, and the ones flying behind them were instantly charred and dead. There was not a single survivor. He had been proud of himself.  
  
/Mission accomplished, Lord Beastmaster. There are no survivors. Should I destroy the rest?/  
  
/Well done Xellos. Leave the rest for now./  
  
"I didn't know then. Then, with so many millenniums ahead of me. How precious it was." He shook his head regretfully, and was surprised to feel a moistness on his cheeks. Was he … crying?  
  
"How precious … life was?" Filia asked. He nodded. She looked at his face, and something glinted on it. "Xellos-san?" She asked timidly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Are you … crying?"  
  
He made no reply, merely looked down again.  
  
Don't let life just pass you by  
  
Like winter in July.  
  
"We've both lived so long …" She said softly. "Seen, done so much. I used to think everything I did was good, virtuous, because I am a Ryuuzoku. And you, being a Mazoku, had done everything bad there was. Now … I don't think either of us has actually done anything worthwhile. It's funny how things end up, isn't it. You know, during the Darkstar campaign, neither of us would have been able to stand being within ten feet of each other. To think that now, here we are having a heart to heart." She laughed ruefully, and a tear, unbidden, slid down her own cheek.  
  
Suddenly she felt something cool on her cheek, and looked up to see Xellos' gloved hand brushing the tear away. When he spoke, his voice was gentle.  
  
"You've done something worthwhile, Filia-san." He put a finger under her chin and raised her head so she was looking him in the eyes. "You realized your race did something wrong, and, even though you did not even know of the deed yourself until the victim told you, you set out to try and make up for it. Val-chan is living proof of that. You tried to take the entire responsibility of the thing on your shoulders by taking care of Val-chan, the last of the Ancients. You're the only living creature I know that would do that. I respect you greatly. Do you know how hard it is to earn my respect?"  
  
She could guess. "Lina-san had it though, didn't she? Amelia-san, maybe a little, seeing as you knew she could easily make you sick by starting in on an justice speech. Zelgadis-san, obviously. He could wield a great power. Gourry-san didn't though. And neither did I, until Val-chan?"  
  
"You always had it. Most Ryuuzoku, upon seeing me, would fly away as fast as they could. You, on the other hand, stayed. Not just stayed, but annoyed me! Angered me to no end, and even tried to harm me. And succeeded, occasionally." They both remembered her first flashback. "I would try to make up what I did to you, the last of your race, but I don't know how. Can you tell me?"  
  
She looked at him, really looked at him, and it was like seeing him for the first time. The bone-straight purple hair. Those amethyst eyes. The small frame. And for the first time, from the beginning, when she had first met him, he looked vulnerable. Even though he had always put a mask of innocence to the world, she had always been able to sense the power throbbing behind the mask. 'To make up for what he did? I could make him do all sorts of horrible things. I would have, so long ago, had he said that to me. But now …' And suddenly she knew what to ask him to do.  
  
"Stay." His eyes registered surprise, and maybe … delight? "Stay with me."  
  
His smile was genuine. "Okay Filia-san. Can you really put up with me for the rest of your life? Because I'm not going to leave until my own time is done."  
  
She smiled back. "I'll have to do it somehow."  
  
And we may not know the reason why  
  
We're born into this world  
  
Where a man only lives to die  
  
And his story left untold  
  
So make the best of what's given you  
  
Everything will come in time  
  
Why deny yourself  
  
Don't just let life pass you by  
  
Like winter in July  
  
The moon shone down upon the two old friends as they strolled back to Filia's shop. It had taken them a few millenniums to just admit that they could be friends. What was another few to them, with their long lifespan? Perhaps, in time, they would even be able to admit the love they felt for each other. Until then …  
  
And don't just let life pass you by  
  
Like winter in July  
  
Like winter in July  
  
Winter in July  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Lokogato: Okayz then! There's our first Slayers fic! A Xellia, if u haven't noticed yet. I came across one too many and decided to try and write one myself. So that was it. And now we have the one and only Hammer of Justice, Amelia-san, here to do our disclaimer!  
  
Amelia: lokogato-sama does not own the song Winter in July. That is owned by Sarah Brightman, who sang it, and the ppz that wrote it. Neither does she own Slayers. Slayers is owned by Software Sculptors and other ppz in Japan. And always remember … *Justice Speech #367, Justice Pose #17* With justice, anything can happen!  
  
Lokogato: *hastily* Thanx, Amelia-san. And here's Filia-san and Xellos-san themselves!  
  
Filia: *hair on fire, red eyes, waving mace-sama threateningly* lokogato- sama … You are SO dead …  
  
Xellos: *twitching quite visibly* For once, lokogato-sama, I have to agree with her. How could you pair me with that selfish Ryuuzoku?  
  
Filia: I AM NOT SELFISH!!  
  
Xellos: Uh-huh, sure.  
  
Filia: NAMAGAMI NO BAKA!!  
  
Xellos: *twitching even more* Don't *twitch* call *twitch* me *twitch* Namagami *twitch*  
  
Lokogato: Aw, lookit the two of 'em, fighting like a married couple!  
  
Filia + Xellos: OKAY, THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!!!  
  
Lokogato: *running from the wrath of a Ryuuzoku and a Mazoku* Anywayz, R+R, ppz, please! *gets pissed off* STOP CHASING ME!!! *gets sly look on face* Lina just taught me the spell for the Raguna Blade … don't make me use it … *both Fi and Xel screech to a halt* So then, see ya!  
  
^*~ 


End file.
